Fueling Farts

While I do not propose myself to be a nutritionist of any level, I want to take some time to talk about the inevitable gas that comes along with eating right. Don’t worry, it doesn’t last forever, but for me it is happening now.

I remember quite a few years ago I did Weight Watchers, and the farts were there too. Blessed unblocked gas. It is one of the first signs you are doing something right. You don’t notice a dip in the scale, your close still fit the same, but you notice the music that comes from your butt.

While it has been going on for a few days, yesterday was when I noticed it come out in full force. Particularly the one I let go as I passed by boss on the way to the bathroom. See I am on crutches, and moving nearly 300 lbs around using upper body strength and balancing on one leg, while holding your bladder is a juggle in itself. I simply didn’t have it in me to hold it in. She was a good sport about it and didn’t even flinch. I however turned 50 shades of red and kept on moving while she gave me a wide access to the hallway.

So how am I accomplishing this magnum opus of my booty? First of all a shit load of fiber. And I am getting it out the gate by making overnight oats the way a friend suggested. A few spoonfuls of real oats (none of that quick/instant shit) and adding Greek yogurt to the top of a jelly jar.  Mix it all together and put it in the fridge. Why I wasn’t doing this before I have no idea, because it is simple and takes less than 5 mins to prep.


Pop that bad boy in my backpack and I have something delicious to eat at my 10 am break.

This is a game changer for me, as I am typically the type of eater that doesn’t eat for half the day (some people do this on purpose with intermittent fasting) and then gorge myself on unhealthy feel good quick foods the rest of the day. Yeah I got this body legitimately.

Next I have a salad for lunch. I have come a long way in my salad making. I have eaten many a sad salad, lacking in nutrition and variety. But with the help of Facefriends and my veggie loving sister I have come a long way baby. (Seriously, if you don’t know how to do something ask people online, everyone has an opinion, e.v.e.r.y.b.o.d.y.)


As you can see, it doesn’t have to look pretty, just pile shit on top of lettuce. This salad is also a good measure of size. It was not big enough. Make that salad in the biggest container you have. Live and learn. This one has taco ‘meat’ cauliflower I made from Vegan Richa. Guac, sour cream, and salsa. I’m having it again tomorrow in a much bigger container. While not completely plant based you could make it that way by omitting the sour cream. Or you could up your protein by adding beans that I don’t have on hand right now. Or you know, add some damn meat. I am missing meat….

So for dinner I had another salad. A little more beautiful, a little bigger, a little more filling by adding vegetables and hummus.


Right now it is hot as hell and I really cant stand upright for any length of time. So I eat a lot of salads. I will up my food making game in good time, but for now I feel like I am getting plenty of fuel as I am not active at all.

I have a fitbit and I am maaaaybe getting 1,500 steps a day. Which may not seem like a lot but it is all my poor armpits can handle. I wont share pics of my bruised armpits. Not with a food post anyway.

So there you have it. These were my main meals for the day. I snacked on plantain chips and other whatnot, but this is how I am fueling my farts in this hot ass weather. Tell me what you are eating in the comments.

3 thoughts on “Fueling Farts

  1. Tacos. Delicious tacos. Last night it was a stewed type pork rinds and some sautéed cactus leaves with onions and tomato. Add a little queso fresco. Man they were good. Your salad looked amazing. I really wanted some… who am I kidding I wanted the whole damn bowl.
    I completely understand your salad size dilema. When I’m having one just for me I tend to use the bowl I use for mash potatoes for the family. Or bigger. Mmm salad sounds amazing right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Overnight oats are great! Not sure if you can have Chia seeds but they are a great addition and add protein too. I like to throw some berries in there too. Never thought of the greek yogurt…great idea!
    And as much as I absolutely LOVE hummus, I’ve found that a body doesn’t…it results in some hellacious gas lol. That could be adding to your farts 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I got some chia seeds but keep forgetting to add them! Thanks for the reminder. I will also have to measure my bean intake. Hummus is so delicious, but my cubicle mate may riot soon


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